Trauma: Stelensia imsoniac nightmare

Stelensia was in the dilemma on the night she was outstation from the day she was at Kota belud. She was alone in the room trying to have a peaceful moment with her favourite novel book. She received message from one of the boss asking her wherebout. Finally, he was persuade her to get into her room and she was shocked with the condition when she had the intuition that she was in trouble that night. She just want to stay out of trouble and she was blank at the moment trying to escape from the room was not the wise choice in her thought. All she think about is to stay up all nite and be cautious to that man. At the moment, she had a old stranger in her room with double of her age trying to get into her pants. She was so anxious and can’t sit tight. All she did was to look calm and survive that night. She make it look as friendly as possible and talk to him all night long. She had told him everything, about her  feelings and he was suppose to get the idea of she was not comfortable with him in the room.  All night long was a hell to her. This man had push off the limits. Stelensia limits is high, and this man had push her button and she can’t take it anymore. In three weeks, she had endure all this verbally sexually harrassment and finally he is getting physical and she knew she is no longer safe doing her internship in the department of extension in Tuaran. Whatever it is. She will fight her right and he had to bear the consequences of his action. Goodbye Mr. boss.

Lesson learned: put your limit low so people won't think you will not angry easily.. self value important don't waste time on the wrong one.

Pertanian atau pendidikan??

Sebenarnya, suda lama sa minat ni pertanian bah. tp yang pendidikan ni semua org suru. tus ada jga sa minat sikit2. tp sa sayang betul dengan pertanian. adui. sakit jiwa ku memikirin ni barang tau. sa betul2 sayang ni pertanian. huhu.. satu perjuangan jga tu pertanian tu. satu perniagaan. teda petani jangan harap ada nasi di meja. dunia sekarang ni. tu yang harus diperjuangkan.. adui. ibu impikan saya ikut pendidikan. mana2 saja la bos. bukan kekal jga ni di dunia

Stelensia new found mission Part I

My own Short stories

Stop chasing the wind, start grabing the truth.

                   Stelensia life as an intern in her working place is hectic everyday, she felt so tired and exhausted to carry on her life. She was spending too much time thinking over it again and again. She want to save this boy for his eternal life. Praying to god and put herself forward walking with him in his life and guide him to choose the right path, somehow, she was gambling her own life her as she knews that her life was for god to used for saving souls and she voluntarily let herself to be used by god just to help more people to save their soul for eternal life. That is her new found mission of life as she bearing in mind that this world is not for eternity. Someday she'll have to give it back what she receive but she wish that she can help this boy to help himself to save his life for eternity. She want him to be introduce to god. Praying for him to be good and save him. But at the same time Stelensia is not strong enough to do this new found mission. She might be the one who fallen into darkness along the way and she gamble her own life to achieve that mission. She understand. With god by her side she is strong to overcome anything that may happen to her. 

Play more learn More Part 2

Play more learn more

Stelensia was praying to the lord the everyday and make it as her routine. somehow, she was praying secretly as she don't wan't other to know about it. As she was praying,  she felt the closeness of herself with God by her side. She was use to losing hope, faith and love. she was working it out the relationship with the Lord to be stronger then ever. She is now officially IN A RELATIONSHIP with GOD and feel the never ending love. And she was shocked today with the miracle and she felt blessed that the house that she stayed in was not burn out because there was a saviour came for rescued. As Stelensia felt so lucky for staying alive and it was such a bless. She was heart felt when she saw an old lady with her stunting green cloth in kebaya and she was barely able to stand on her feet but she was standing strongly with merely her faith holding tightly to her heart believing that god are present in her life and she felt His presence everywhere. Everytime she seek for the answers, she always get the answers not necessarily the one that she want to hear.  She is getting the best answer for her future. The eternal life in heaven with GOD had become her ultimate goal for her life. She pursue more than anybody want. Some how, she always need god by her side to guide her on the right way and keeping her head above the water.

Keep Holding On Part 3

                  She was not please when she knew that she was all alone in the place that she was working  because her friend who are suppose to be with her requested to be transfer back to her hometown. Somehow, the week before she was moving to new place she had a devastating heart and clueless about her relationship. She had no longer strength to worry about it anymore because she had to focus on what is more important although sometime she might stressed out over thinking about this matter. She was clueless about her future. Her weakness is she is not strong enough.

                        

                    The day she was report duty  to her workplace, she was suprise that 90% of the people working in the department was twice of her age. Now her co-workers was about her fathers age. She learn lots of things from the department as the first week of her working days had taught her a lot. Even though she was working for practical, she not yet fail to pray to god. Somehow, she had lost her cell phone on the first day her working day. The house keeper was a good person. She pray for these family member to be blessed by god and let god blessed them and pour them blessing because they are nice people. There is one of the co-worker is so nice to her and buying her food for lunch. She just don’t need to eat that much anymore because she was full with the word of GOD as the fasting season has teach her to be dependent on god and pray always and make her feel that how weak human are without Him.

                 About her relationship, she knows that god had prepared the best husband for her and she just still clueless about what she was suppose to do with it and she just go with the flow. All she was able to do was to make sure her life properly live on track of god. She always remember God and practising prayer more often because after prayer she always feel a kind of reliefs. Somehow, she is not perfect and trying to improve herself with the faith of god. Reading religion books helps her a lot and reading is one of her hobby. She will continue to pursue the words of god a and hoping that God will always by her sides along the way she was trying to make her choices in life. 

                                       Always involving god and ask for guidance and sign. 

The Originals

Sunny Sunday,  8.04 p.m. , 27 Feb 2011                                                                                             
Saya pernah antisosial pada satu ketika 

Dahulu sebelum saya akil baligh lagi, 

Namun harus sampai bilakah saya patut 

Begitu? Saya suda bosan kehidupan kolej, 

Jadual masa penuh dengan kuliah dan aktiviti 

Kolej. Saya suda bosan dengan cinta monyet, 

Saya suda bosan dengan hidup tanpa irama,

Tanpa fokus, tanpa kekuatan. 

Saya telah lemah apabila dia

Meletakkan kekuasaannya ke atas saya, 

Dia meyelubungi diri saya,

Saya tidak gila, saya masih siuman, 

Saya perlukan masa untuk mengubati

Luka ini. Berilah saya kawan yang ramai,

Biar ikhlas atau tidak, biar jujur atau tidak, 

Berikan mereka kepada saya agar saya tidak kesunyian, 

Hidup menyendiri ini amat menyeksa batinku, 

Pemikiran saya mudah melencong 

Ke arah yang penuh kegelapan. 

Saya sungguh hipokrit, mengukir 

Senyuman yang tidak ikhlas, 

Berpura-pura peramah, kerana saya tidak ingin 

Dilabelkan sebagai sombong.

Jauh di satu sudut dalam lubuk hati ini, 

Sangat tertekan dengan pergaulan,

Tidak kira dengan perempuan ataupun lelaki, 

Kerana saya tidak  kenal keperibadian saya yang sebenar,

Sama ada apabila bersama dengan kawan-kawan,

Ataupun apabila tidak ada seorang pun yang melihat saya.

"Happiness resides not in posessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul" 

By Democritus 

"Who are you when nobody looking at you" The original

By: JYOO

Chasing the sun by the wanted

The wild one

New arena, Bigger classroom Part 4

             

Used to be guarded

                 In next few days, Stelensia will be moving to the new environment, which she was scared. Whenever she was away with her family she was tend to do mistake and she don't know how what the world is about. Stelensia was used to be under their surveillance and she can't not live without them and their guidance. They always guide her about life and she need them to teach her about life. She was moving to the big fast lane city with her friend and working there. The last few days was a hell for her and she just laid back. She was reflecting about everything that happen to her life, the pain that she had gone through was not letting her move on, every word that had been heard and searching for missing pieces of her inner self is the process of life for the checking in to the bigger classroom. THE WORLD.