10 March 2011

My fight

               My current weight right now is 62 kg, used to be 65 kilogram 2 months ago, i manage to loss 6.6  pound, my weight goal is 55 kg and within 2 months with vegetarian carbs eating habit with exercises to shade this weight away from my body. I want to build my abs muscle but at the same time to loss weight, I really need to loss weight. I urge to feel beautiful again. I was growing being told you are ugly, thats why I don't have self confident at all. When people told me you are beautiful, all i was thinking about is they telling me lie, stop telling me lie, I hate lies, I was lied to so many time, I hate those promises that they can't kept, stop promising people if you can keep it. It's so unman if you do so. Don't try to tell me what to do, you are not my father. You are nothing to me related yet, or never will be.

People told me that muscle weight a lot but compacted compare to fat, so I will not look fat even I had weight heavy. That's so not true, I want to shade all this fat and get more muscular and lean body. It's my dream body, I hate to be fat, and heavy, I can't wear a beautiful dress with this big flabby arm. I hate these arm.

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