I truely regret a lot of things i did'nt do, when i was in the younger age, i had truely punished my self and jail my personality, and making so many poor decision. The one thing that I am truely regret about is to not join as many competition (Unduk Ngadau) as posible. I personally think that as an introvert, fighting in within self, personality confusion, the way that I can make a better self is to throw myself into a situation where I can grow myself. I was forbidden to join the competition even though there is a lot of people keep asking why i did'nt join. but by the sunset of my glorious Age which is 24 to 25 YO, I had join six time in two years. Haha, Now I know why, I can be joining every year since 18 to 25 years and keep on lossing my self in the competition. People will keep critized. not good enough this and that, hair, makeup, or maybe traditional wear the cause of not winning. to me its because of me i loose. join a hundred time, if loose still loose. Hehe. anyhow, the experiences is enjoyable. If u ask why i was so desperated to join so many time, is im just trying my luck while testing my ability on the stage and just do what i fear to do. it seems every now and then i have to face people all the time and talking/ presenting more to raised awareness in front and being criticized. the best thing that i can do is just ignored.
no regret. love jesus, the savior. missing going to church and see him.
I'm not a person that like the crowd, talking a lot make me feel tired, socialize, and lastly would like to just sit in the home and do what every i like freedomly and thats why I keep on losing, because this competition is seeking socialite. people who is outgoing for sure, because many social event will be need to be attend.
Photo 1: As a 2nd runner up Kuala penyu my best spot. 2013
Photo 2: I look like winning here, but Im 6th runner up hehe. 2012
Photo 3: Im just trying luck, learning other races languages, I learn speak lundayeh self introduction. Quite. I tried and bravo to self. I think i got number 8 or 7 Sipitang, 2013
Photo 4: My first time ever, got 7th Place at Beaufort 2012
Photo 5: I manage no place here, being critized for gravel skins and not fit to win a placing. Thanks to judges for being truth. Im honored for it give me experiences to be memorable. Not as easy as I thought, I mean you gotta impress with perfection, and thats insanely possible, but physically 50/50 , Membakut 2012
Above all that, I would like to thanks for my mother who support me fully on my journey to this competition, she followed to everywhere I compete and critized others for winning and not fit for their winning, haha. A mother who sees the best in their daughter, I always win in her heart. she just love me too much. The person who beautified me along the journey, and the dresses who lend to me.. All well and good, but thanks for the sweet memory. I actually had hide this joining competition at first from my mother at first but she finally allowed me, Im not allowed to follow all this but my hard headed nut cracker type had just made me gain so much wonderful experieance and enjoyable moment which is priceless than taking all the winning prizes.
It is everyone dream to win and being beautiful in my dream, Now Im just be as normal as I can. and stay out my way from the game.
No comments:
Post a Comment